Thursday, July 21, 2011

Readers Block!!!

So right now for some reason I’m having readers block.  I love to read but every time I sit down to read I just turn the kindle off.  I don’t like it since I have a ton of books I want to read.  Maybe tonight will be better.  We’ll see.  I’m currently trying to read “A Bone to Pick” by Charlaine Harris.  But while I was on break today at work I stumbled across an article on Yahoo. “7 Things your husband wants to tell you”.  I thought HA this ought to be good ,so I read it.  I mean what really can this article tell me that I don’t already know about my husband and most men for that matter.  They are pretty cut and dry; you ask a question you get an answer.  Once you finish reading this you might think I'm bitter about something, I'm not.  I have an amazing loving husband who I know would do anything for me and he makes me happy day in and day out.  Sure we have our arguments like any other married couple but we never stay mad at each other.  I'm simply writing my first reactions to this article I read.  Hope you enjoy it.

This article starts off by telling me “for women the purpose of communication is most often to relate; for men, it’s usually to share information”.  My thoughts were this; when does a man openly converse?  My husband can sit in a car with me and not talk for a long time.  I have to ask a question or get him talking about something he is interested in for him to talk.  Now this may be because he is not a chatty kind of guy but still.  Then my other thought was ok yeah I can see how it would be for informational purposes like once my husband told me someone had gotten arrested.  I asked him “why”? And “What happened”? His response was simply I don’t know I didn’t ask. REALLY! Why in the world would you offer up information like that and not get ALL the information.  So to me this article already is not starting out to well.  But the article tells me to “read on to learn seven things your husband wants to tell you in order to help bridge the communication cap”.  HAHAHAHAHA… Oh man this is going to be great.
*side note to the communication thing.  Why is it when you’re in a conversation with a man and you ask a simple question like lets say we were talking about going and seeing a friend.  And then you ask well what time do we need to be there.  Why do they feel the need to say “where?” like we have just gotten off topic somewhere and we are now confused as to what place I might be referring to.  Please tell me this is not just me that is dealing with this and that other husband’s/boyfriends do this.
#1.  A small “Thank you” makes a huge difference. Agreed! First off why am I the one who has to say thank you.  How often do the men thank to say thank you?  Not very often and I’m guessing they don’t tell you thank you all that often because well it’s not pertinent information to share as my husband says “you should already know, I shouldn’t have to say it”  so why in the world do I need to “stroke your ego” it also says that in the article.  They like that it says.  Now since things aren’t always cut and dry I will say that I work and my husband takes care of the house.  So yeah I guess I do need to say thank you more… when things around the house actually get done.  Right now he’s so busy mowing yards for everyone else and doing this or that for everyone else I’ve taken a back seat and I still get crap about not picking up my clothes from the bathroom or the bedroom (I’m a little bit of a slob but when I come home I’m tired, ok)  so maybe this really needs to work both ways.  He needs to tell me thank you for working and keeping the bills paid and I need to tell him thanks when he cleans or cooks or mows our yard.

#2.  I’m more likely to offer you concrete advice than a shoulder to cry on.  It says “my wife came home venting about a problem and every time I came up with a solution she would cut me off and dismiss it.” Well duh.. let’s think about this real quick.  Most the time the solutions are “just get over it, let it go, who cares”, or something really dramatic that will make the situation worse.  This may be why we dismiss it and cut you off.  I’m just saying.  And as an afterthought do you guys think that since you only speak to us for “informational purposes” we think you might be good listeners since the information is not all that free flowing.  You can’t have it both ways here.  You can’t only want to tell us information when you think its necessary and then want to be “Dear Abby” when we want to vent.  And they say women are hard to get.  The article says we should just tell the men what we really want to do is just vent.  I thought that was the whole reason as to why I came to you venting in the first place.

#3.  If you want a chore done by a certain day, tell me that.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  Why in the world would I be telling you to let’s say get the wood stove off the carport.  Not because I want you to do it when it’s snowing again and we need heat in the house.  I’m telling you to do it because I want it done ASAP.  Men want to offer advice but can’t seem to understand when I’m asking them to do something I want it done quickly.  Good thing we don’t take their advice to often.
#4. Tell me directly what’s bothering you.  Oh so many things to say about this.  If you want me to tell you what’s bothering me we have to be in an informational conversation for you to talk to me and I have to be venting for you to want to offer advice based on this article.  I don’t tell you what’s bothering me because you will either minimize my issue, make me feel like I’m the issue, or offer some dumb advice, or more than likely you’re the reason I have a problem and I don’t feel like I need to tell you because you should know what you have done wrong.
#5.  Please don’t ask me how you look in that dress.  Well we wouldn’t have to ask you how we look if you would offer compliments more often.  You want us to stroke your ego by saying thank you more, well we want you to tell us we’re pretty more often or how lucky you are to be with us.  So we like to trap you in this question.  We know you have to say we look good because it will cause the "you think I’m fat/ugly" argument in which you never win.  But then we get you again you give us the blanket “you look great in anything” line that start’s the well if that’s that case why don’t you tell me more often argument.  And in the end the argument is always concluded with “all I want is for you notice me and tell me how great I look or how lucky you are to be with me” so you might as well say if often to avoid this question.  The article tells us to ask specific questions such as “Do you think these shoes match my dress”.  Well 2 points to make to that comment. 1. Why in the world would I ask you that question when you ask us that question all the time or we are the ones to tell you that those shoes don’t match your outfit. 2. That was not the point of the question.
6. I wish you didn’t think we had to talk all the time to be close.  The article says: “you both get home from work, or finally get the kids into bed, and then you just sit there watching TV. You call this togetherness? The truth is that he does, even if to you is not “being together” unless you’re actually having a conversation.  The silence in the room and just your presence feels like closeness to a man.
Well men let’s look at the word closeness.  Being close.  We don’t have to talk to feel close we are talking b/c your attention is averted somewhere other than us.  We can’t for the life of us figure out why when you get home you don’t care about our day or want to tell us about your day since we have so

much to tell you.  If a man wanted to just sit on the couch and watch TV with us and feel “close” we might shut up. How about actually putting your arm around us or holding our hand while you watch something we want to watch. 
#7 I wish you wanted sex more.  I don’t know about others but I don’t have this problem so I cant really comment on it.  But I can say this.  Probably if men wanted to stop treating us like they can just take us out when they want to and put us back when they want to women might be more apt to want to have more sex.  If men went around treating women like they did when they first got with us they would for sure be getting more but when men say “I got you, why do I need to keep doing those things” it makes us say “we got you, why do we need to keep doing those things”  I’m just saying.

This article was written by a women but I’m not sure where she get her information and why she would even write an article like this. If my husband really wanted to tell me these things why wouldn’t he just tell me and why is it her job to try to tell me.  You can read this article online if you feel like looking at it at

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